We are both members of the IMHN (Independent Mental health Network) IAPT (Improving access to psychological therapies) EBE (Experts by Experience) Group.
And there you have it; get yourself a diagnosis of Bipolar 1 or 2 and you fall into a hidden world of acronyms, mysterious services, medication, therapies and professionals you didn’t know existed before.
Probably before then you’ve had one of these experiences….
Profound depression so deep you cannot function and wonder if you’re catatonic, or try to kill yourself, as you think it will never get better, self neglect and exhaustion, mental and physical, so profound that sleep has no effect on it. Being unable to string words together or bother to eat or wash. Shunning people, activity, daylight, and having a pervasive and undermining sense of doom constantly from the moment of waking.
And/or
Such blissed out giddiness that you’re addicted to it, taking on the world, feeling on top of the world, enjoying impossible juggling and balancing acts. Behaving in crazy ways that to you seem like just innocent fun, being bombastic, believing you’re someone famous or that you’ve solved the problem of existence or something in quantum physics. Going a hundred miles an hour, your thought racing and losing people as you garble out the torrent of ideas that excite and surround you. Becoming James Bond on a business trip to London, for real…
Maybe you’ve been sectioned; no it’s not the fun magic trick when you get a glamorous lady sawn in two; it’s the grim fear of being forced to stay in hospital, being judged to have no capacity to decide what should and should not happen to you; the fear of being awake over night on suicide watch with a stranger coming to your door every 15 minutes and switching a light on, the horror of ‘meds’ and being humiliated into showing you’ve swallowed a powerful psychotropic with profound and wide ranging side effects, the boredom of days on the ward, the sleepless nights hearing the alarm go off, meaning some poor service user (SU; there’s another)is being forcibly restrained somewhere in one of the wards….
But we both want to say that living well with bipolar is not only possible, it’s profoundly rewarding and fulfilling.
We have very different experiences(early diagnosis; late diagnosis; sectioning for psychotic depression or for such mania that it was unsafe not to be in hospital) but we share a hard won wisdom about life and what matters.
And that is good mental health; that matters. We have both learned different and very individual ways to live with bipolar and we want professionals of all kinds and ‘sufferers’(no there must be an acronym or better description; maybe survivors, or ‘the blessed’)to hear that our lives are good, with bipolar.
Our illness has granted us both wisdom, insight, empathy and creativity. We work in exciting and fulfilling jobs (one a carer support worker working with the families of those with psychotic illnesses; the other a creative; loving marketing for causes she believes in) and live meaningful and rich lives.
We want psychiatrists and other professionals to treat us like that is our reality, even if we’re ill; we are both strong feminist women with numerous interests, passions, hobbies and friendships. We don’t want to be reduced to a biomedical problem to be solved.
We both believe the current bio bio bio model is too narrow. That exciting advances are about to be made(mushrooms and ketamine, brain proteins and neurological interventions too scary to think about). That a bio social psychological revolution is necessary; and fast.
Where IAPT is concerned, we have mixed experiences of CBT; too short, no time to develop the therapeutic alliance that is respected as intrinsic to success in every other psychological therapy; too prescriptive, too many young practitioner held to damaging target driven outcomes, using it as a stepping stone(bless them, as they’re entitled to do). We want RADICAL CHANGE.
We want talking therapies given time to work, available pre not post crisis(surely an economic model too?), support that isn’t just the infamous chemical kosh in between our well periods. We want the focus on recovery to permeate everything; in particular the way we are treated, as fully alive vibrant vital ambitious and able women.
We are full of energy, enthusiasm , ideas and passion; we will work with professionals if they will LISTEN and BE PREPARED TO CHANGE.
Can you take on the challenge?
Words by Nina and Sue
IAPT EBE (Experts By Experience) IMHN
Published on March 30, 2022 at 9:48 am
